Baby Doll Gone Wrong Redone
by iloveme5895
Summary: A new kind of New Moon. Edward left Bella telling her not to do anything stupid and all of that. She goes off and gets mixed up in the 'wrong crowd' and soon is doing drugs and parting 24/7. What happens when Edward comes back after 6 months (like he said he would) and sees her the way she is. Can he help her? MA!
1. After He Left

This is a remake of baby doll gone wrong story I did in 2008. For that time in my life it was good writing, but now I'm coming back to it and redoing the chapters putting more details and hopefully a better experience to read. Same story line as before, hope you all enjoy.

Baby doll gone wrong

So a new kind of new moon. Edward left Bella telling her not to do anything stupid and all of that. She goes off and gets mixed up in the 'wrong crowd' and soon is doing drugs and parting 24/7. What happens when Edward comes back after 6 months (like he said he would) and sees her the way she is. Can he help her?

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING in the Twilight realm, but I do have some of my own charters that I put in there.

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Chapter One: After He Left

I lay in bed alone, holding onto the blanket that Edward and I had cuddled in not too long ago. I was blank. I couldn't move; I didn't want to. Days passed by slowly but also within a blur. I didn't know what day of the week it was, and my father stopped knocking on the door to see if I wanted to eat with him.

It was missing. All our pictures together have mysteriously disappeared. Well it wasn't much of a mystery. He said it would be like her was never here. I wish I could believe that. These memories, and my feelings are all I have left. Our memories are killing me.

Eventually my body gave into the need to eat and drink. So I made my way downstairs in the middle of the night and grabbed a water bottle and snack food from the cupboard.

I quickly made my way back into my room and shut the door. I knew that I would have to go back to school eventually, but I didn't want to. How could I face any of my classmates? Especially with how I was found in the forest after Edward left me.

The whole town must know by now.

Slowly weeks passed. I went to class; I didn't talk to anybody. At first everyone was worried about me, but after days of trying to talk to me, everyone started to give up. I don't blame them; I would give up on me too.

I couldn't find any reason to live. He left me all alone in the stupid woods. I wish he just never talked to me, and that I never moved to Forks. What's so good about this stupid town? NOTHING! I tried to tell my self that everything would get better, but with each passing second I fell deeper into myself. I was lost in my mind, and I couldn't find a way out.

At first I felt like I was drowning, but the longer I stayed inside my self, the more I liked it. I was numb to the world around me. I choose not to feel, and distance myself from everyone and everything around me.

I thought about killing my self-everyday, but I could never do it. I was afraid to die as well. I ended up cutting myself a few times, but even that didn't help a thing. I just had to hide the marks from everyone.

I needed a change.

I left. I went out to Seattle. I told Charlie that I was going to go shopping. He was thrilled that I was doing something; he gave me some money and told me to have fun. I took it and left.

The drive took a while, the whole time I wasn't really paying attention to anything. I was just suddenly where I wanted to be.

I looked around at all the shops. There were people everywhere and I felt so alone within the crowds. I didn't stand out in anyway; I was a wallflower, cute but nothing special when compared to all the other flowers on the wall.

I walked some more and stopped. There I made a decision. I walked in. There were black cloths everywhere. Trip pants, chains, and clothes that showed off way too much skin hung on the walls. This is what I needed.

A teenage boy came over and asked if I needed help. I nodded and explained that I needed a change and that this is exactly what I needed. He nodded as though he knew my pain and showed me a bunch of clothes that would suit my body well.

I spent too much money that day, but it was worth it. I had a new wardrobe.

When I got home, I threw out all my old cloths. Everything reminded me of him. He liked me wearing certain clothes and some of my clothes were from him.

He was everywhere. I let him in too much and now, I was alone with all the memories. All I wanted to do was forget him, but I couldn't

People started to call me 'anti social.' I didn't talk to anyone, what was the point. Weeks turned into months, and I was stuck in this same routine. I felt myself slowly dying, and for some reason I liked it. As though everyday was now a punishment for him. See what he's done to me? Edward did this, I just wish he could see me now. See how much better I am; even though, I know better.

That was when they showed up.

We got two new kids at school. Both of them also wore the dark clothing I wore. At lunchtime they came to sit with me. I was used to being by myself, or at least that's what I told myself everyday.

"Hi," The girl had straight black hair said as she and another other girl sat down with me at the table. I nodded not really knowing how to respond. I haven't said a word in months, but they didn't seam to care. "This place is quite the dump," she said as she looked at me, "o how rude of me, I'm Melissa and this is friend, Claire."

"I'm Bella" I said finding my voice but it coming out a bit crackly and sore. I cleared my throat and continued. "Why did you two move here?"

"My mother wanted to move into a small town. She came because our moms are together." Melissa said. I nodded understanding what she meant.

"It gets annoying sometimes, but at least we stay together." Claire looked from Melissa back to me, "So why are you here?" Claire asked me.

"My dad lives here and I left my mom. She has enough to deal with without me being there." It felt weird to finally be talking after so long. My vocal cords hurt a bit. They both gave me a understanding look.

"I'm sorry." Claire said, but strangely it felt like she meant it. We didn't even know each other. "We should hang out sometime."

I nodded what else could I do. I was denying contact with everyone I knew, everyone who knew what happened. These two have no clue about Edward or the Cullens.

We decided to ditch class. I've never ditched class before, at least not like this. I went along though, and I felt adrenaline as we did it. There was a fear of getting caught that I couldn't help but like.

We went off to hang out in my truck. I started the engine and we pealed out of the parking lot.

"Do you smoke?" Melissa asked me. I was suddenly hit with the fact that they were probably not the best people to be hanging with. A part of me didn't care though.

"Not really." I said back truthfully.

"O, do you mind if we smoke in here?" I pondered the thought for a moment. I was 18, it wasn't illegal for me to do it. I wondered if Charley would care. How would he feel? I had to stop thinking that way though, it only causes me pain. I do what I want, not what anyone else wants me to do, I thought to my self.

"No, in fact can I have one?" I asked looking over at Melissa.

"Sure." She passed the cigarette over to me. I lit it up and took a puff, a coughed a bit. It wasn't as bed as everyone makes it seem. I smirked, there goes more of my life. I don't give a shit about my life. He left me; he left me to die, that dick. I am going to die.

Both of the girls gave each other a look and we ended up going out of town to one of their friends houses that lived about an hour out. Honestly, this has to be one of the most reckless things I have done. I really didn't know what I was doing, but I knew I didn't want to keep doing what I have been doing in the past.

I parked my truck and looked at the house we pulled up to. It was a decent nice looking place. Melissa walked up quickly and range the door bell. A guy with shady brown hair answered the door, "Melissa, Claire, what are you two doing here?" he asked.

"Well, we thought we should stop on by." Melissa gave the guy a hug, "O and this is my friend Bella." Melissa said pointing to me. He looked over at me and I swear he did a double take. "She is off limits" Melissa added quickly before giving him a look.

"Ok I get it." He said as he put his hands up in surrender. He then walked over to me and smiled. "My name is Tommy, you can call me Tom." I looked over and saw both Claire and Melissa roll their eyes. We started to walk into his house and I was hit with the smell of, I have no clue what it was but it wasn't legal.

I saw everyone sitting down in a circle and the other three joined in, so I did too. At first I was just going to watch, but what fun was that?

People make sure a big deal about this shit. The longer I was around these people, the less taboo it felt. When the joint passed by me I asked if I could have some and the group of people were all for it.

I took a few puffs of the cigarette before passing it. Not too long after it would come back to me. Then we got a pipe out and started to smoke from that.

Eventually I understood why people say to be careful with it. People were talking but I couldn't understand a dang word anyone was saying. It was fun at the same time though. Everyone was laughing and enjoying just being with each other. Then I thought, oh shit I still had to drive home.

Time started to pass by so fast, and I didn't feel anything. I was flying high in the clouds, everything around me didn't seem real anymore. It was bliss, and I enjoyed it so much. All the pain left me, all the memories distant as though it didn't happen. I didn't have to think about Edward, and that was the best feeling in the world.

I loved it, being able to forget and enjoy the moment. I wanted it to last forever, but in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't. It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered, not tomorrow, not what happened yesterday.

Everything felt so right, but at the same time so wrong. Claire came over to me after having some shots of Mad Dog with a smile. "So how do you like it?" she said with her words a bit slurred.

"Great, everything feels perfect" I said with a smile. It was goofy and uncharacteristically me. She laughed and dragged me up and to the kitchen where everyone was taking shots and laughing. Melissa was running around looking for food, and that's when I noticed I had the urge to eat, and eat a lot. "Wow I am so hungry." I said sounding like I haven't eaten in days.

Melissa came bouncing up to me, "Munchies time!" I laughed not really knowing what she meant, but I followed her anyway. She had a bag of chips and we stood around the kitchen and ate. I ended up on the counter sitting next to Melissa. We laughed and ate. I don't know how much we ate. Some of the boys joined in with us while getting cereal and brownies. Any junk food was fair game.

I felt so… good. Then I started to feel numb, but not in a good way. It was like a wake up call. My body was starting to push through the haze and clarity started to form. Before I knew it everything went back into place. I couldn't describe it, but I knew that I wasn't high anymore. Everything seemed to be the way it was before.

I was off the trip I was on and it came back to me that I could feel. I didn't like to feel; I didn't want it, and before I knew it I was craving to be high again. I was starting to have an anxiety attack. No, no! I don't want it to go back to they way it was. That was when a joint was passed to me. I sighed, I didn't have to go back to the way it was before. I happily took a few puffs and passed it to the next person. Melissa took a few puffs we laughed and jumped off the counter.

We went back to the circle this time I was offered a spot on the couch. Melissa sat next to me, and Claire next to her. Tommy sat next to me and he started to talk to me. I don't know what it was about. He seemed so excited to tell me though, so I nodded as though I was actually listening. On the inside, I was not there anymore. I saw patterns and beautiful things around me.

For a second everything stood still, and in that second I was able to think about my life. It was as if I relived everything that happened in a second, My whole stupid existence.

I sat back and watched everybody. Somehow I still couldn't imagine that I was here. Doing what I was doing, why was I doing this again? I thought to my self. I was hallow and I thought I would hear my own thoughts bouncing all around my body. It was the weirdest experience ever.

I shut my self off and was lost inside my own head. In my head everything was right with the world Edward didn't leave, and I was picturing how my life would have been.

We bought a whole lot of stuff from them, and then we left. We were laughing and sometimes I forgot I was driving, but I somehow navigated back to Forks and dropped them off at their place. Then I amazingly drive my self home. When I pulled into the drive way I saw my dad waiting for me on the front porch. O shit, was the only thing that went though my mind.

Here I was fucked up and my dad was waiting for me. Not only that but he was a cop; the people that bust others for doing drugs. He knows all the signs of someone being under the influence.

Thank lord Claire gave me perfume before we left, but I didn't know if it could out do the weed, cigarette, and alcohol smell off me.

"Hey dad" I said as I opened the door and shut it. I was giddy, something Charlie hasn't seen in a while. I was so fucked cause I stumped out of my truck, but he didn't seam to notice.

"Where were you?" He asked in a serious tone. I tried so hard not to laugh because his face was all moving in a circular way and his face was multicolored. I never knew that I was missing out on so much in my life.

"I was hanging out with some friends." He looked at me and smiled. He looked relieved for a second, but then his serious face came back on.

"That's good, but next time could you be home before 12." I swear it was 11. I don't think I was out that late, right? i

"What time is it?" I asked sounding confused.

"1:30" Holy crap cakes, where did all my time go.

"Shit I am so sorry dad; I didn't mean it." He looked at me and I noticed that what I said didn't make sense. "I mean that I didn't know the time could fly by so fast. I promise to be home earlier." I said with a fake smile.

If he didn't noticed something was up her was rather the dumbest cop ever, or in denial. That or he was happy that I wasn't as lost as I have been. He nodded and I ran up the stairs; I didn't really want to be stuck talking to him while I was in this state.

I got to my bed and quickly fell asleep while I was trying to forget about hands that used to be around me as I did. The hands that would save me time and time again. I had tears slowing sliding down my cheeks, but I refused to wipe them.

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An: ok there is the first chapter, I will keep going on and fixing up other chapters. For anyone who is reading this, thank you and please drop a comment below.

Ashley


	2. His Voice

Chapter 2: His Voice

The next morning I got dressed, and ate quickly. Charlie was downstairs when I came down. "What are you up to today?"

I smiled, and it didn't seem forced for once, "Well I'm going to head over to Claire's place and pick her up before school and then hang out after school."

"Who's Claire?" He asked

"New girl at school that I made friends with. Her and Melissa just moved into town."

"What about your old friends?"

I shook my head, "I just can't, not after… you know" I said looking into his eyes with a sad look. He nodded his head as though he understood. He leaned over and gave me a quick, and slightly awkward hug.

"Okay, just be careful" he said before letting me go. I nodded and he quickly went back into his cop demeanor. "You'll be home before 12 tonight." I nodded knowing not to argue with him. "Okay, don't forget I'm a cop so I know everything that happens in town."

"Alright, I get it. Stay out of trouble." I said with a laugh. Charlie looked relived. I know he's been worried about me. I am glad that he doesn't have to be anymore, or at least not in the same way.

"I got to head off to work." I nodded and watched as he left. I went to the kitchen got some cereal. I need to get more food; there isn't anything in the cupboards.

Once I finished my food, I took off. I tried to remember exactly where I went last night when I dropped Claire and Melissa off. My mind was still in a haze and I wasn't as alert as I should be while driving. Not only that, but I think I was experiencing my first hangover. My eyes hurt from the morning sun, and there was a constant pounding in my head.

I went down a few streets that I sort of remembered until I found the semi familiar house I dropped Claire and Melissa off at. When I pulled up I saw the door open and the two of them run from the house. They quickly jumped into the truck with a smile.

"So was last night rad or what?" Melissa said while lighting up a cigarette. I tried not to smile, but it was hard not to. Melissa passed me a cigarette and I took a few puffs before passing it to Claire. She took a quick puff before passing the cigarette back to Melissa. Who would ever know that I, the good girl, could do that? I never thought I would ever do any kind of drugs, but here I was smoking a cigarette, while Claire rolled a joint next to Melissa in my truck. I was… bad. The word for the kids in school that 'threw their lives away.' It made me feel... empowered in a strange way.

"It rocked." I said as we pulled up along a side road near the school. We jumped out of the truck and proceeded to 'smoke and toke' before class started. I was all right with the smell of cigarettes in the truck, but weed is something I know Charlie will bust me on. I couldn't take a chance of that happening.

We passed the joint from back and forth until there wasn't anything left to smoke. Some people passed us as we smoked and acted like fools along the side of the road. The feeling that people might know and can tell Charlie gave me adrenaline and fear. The idea of getting caught excited me, and put a smirk on my face, one that I never wore before.

I have no clue why no one noticed that we where high at school. We were falling down and acting like idiots, but no one even gave us a second glance. We goofed around and had fun in the few classes we had together. None of the teachers even noticed, or if they did they, they kept it to themselves.

It seamed like I just walked into my first class, when it was suddenly time to leave. I didn't even remember what happened at lunchtime. I think we went back to my truck and smoked some more. We got in my truck and started to head towards Tom's place. It was a pattern that we were starting to form.

I was so hyped that we were going back to messed up again. We were out of drugs and had to go back to get more. With the thought of drugs came the promise of Edward staying out of my mind. For even just a moment I could stop these thoughts of Edward from invading my mind again. The longer I was high, the longer I forgot.

I knew it wouldn't last forever, but even if it was only for a little while, I was fine with it. Even a second without him in my mind was worth destroying my body, my mind, and what was left of my soul. I wonder if this is how other people got hooked into drugs with the promise of forgetting pain.

We arrived at his house and just walked right in. Claire was texting Tom when we were on our way here. "Hola, girls" I heard Tom yell from the couch as we walked in. I looked over at Claire and Melissa and smiled. We giggled and quickly went over to smoke some weed with him.

We got into a circle on the floor and used pillows to make it comfortable. I learned quickly that I want to be comfortable when I'm getting high. The more relaxed I was the better the high was.

It was only the four of us, so we decided to talk. "You know, I wish life was as easy as it is right now." Tom said passing the joint to Claire. I laughed at what he said, and after he passed it, he fell right over onto the floor.

She took a hit and smiled, "Now I wish, that we could spend our whole lives smoking this." She passed it to Melissa, and I watched her take a big ass hit. She was always the one that took in half the dang joint in one hit. She smokes like a chimney.

"I wish, that my mom would stop making every thing about her." She sighed and then passed the joint over to me. I felt kind of bad for her when I heard that. I didn't really know the two girls as much as I should, not as much as I normally did when making new friends. I then turned my attention to the joint in m hand. I knew that it would erase all of my problems. That soon my head would be cleared, and I could do as I pleased, without him invading my thoughts.

I took a puff and said the first thing that came to my mind. "I wish, that my x-boy friend would get out of my head, so I could move on." Everyone nodded, as in a way to show that they knew the feeling. I was about to pass it to Tom again, but he laid down on a few pillows. I think he passed out.

I laughed and soon so did Claire and Melissa; we skipped him and finished the joint continuing with 'I wishes'. It became a boding experience for the three of us. I learned more about the two girls that I now considered my friends, then I did before.

After we finished the joint I had a strange feeling in my mouth. It was as if there was something in there that shouldn't be. I started to try and swallow it, but that didn't help at all. In fact I felt as though I was drowning in it.

The girls laughed at me, and Melissa got up and came back a little bit later with some juice." It's called cottonmouth. Looks as though you are really fucked up." Melissa said with a smile across her face. I ended up drinking the glass in a few seconds. I couldn't believe it, but I was still thirsty.

"I need more." I said as though I was parched and hadn't drunk anything. I tried getting up, but failed miserably. I ended up face first into a pillow. Claire and Melissa came over to pull my ass up. The whole time we where laughing and giggling.

We sat down in his kitchen with a container of Kool-Aid and some cigarettes and smoked a good hour away. Tom eventually woke up and joined us, but not before getting out his bottle of 90 proof vodka. That's when we got out the drinking game of tic tack toe or what ever that game was called. I was high and drunk at this point.

She filled up the shot glasses and who ever didn't win had to drink the three shots that were in a row. Before we knew it we were wasted and laughing. I couldn't tell what was what eventually and just ended up taking shots when I didn't have to.

I enjoyed this so much. Everything seemed to be going right. I looked at the clock and whined.

"It already 9. I don't wanna go home." I said like a winning three year old.

"It's Friday, so ask your dad if you can sleep over at our place ok." Claire said slurring her words. I jumped up and down, yea that's a perfect idea.

I ran to the phone and found Charlie's number.

"Everyone shut up until I get off phone!" I yelled to the three people in the room, "My dad can't know that I'm wasted, he's a cop."

"Well dam, be careful with that." Tom said as he took another drink.

"Yea…" I said before looking back at my phone, "Oh so yea everyone shut up."

"Kay." Melissa, in a fit of laughter, ran out side so she wouldn't get me in trouble.

"Hey dad," I said hoping I sounded sober enough to trick him. "Do you think I can stay over at Melissa's place for tonight?" He went off on who is she and all that crap. I mentioned her this morning but he still doesn't know anything about her. "She's my new friend, I'll bring her over tomorrow so you can meet her." He agreed and hung up. Oh shit I got away with it. Sweet!

I ran out side to tell Melissa its all cool. We hung out at Tom's smoking weed, but I didn't drink anymore, for a couple of hours. I knew I had to drive us back later, and decided to take it easy on the drinking.

Around 12:30 I drove to Melissa's place and we crashed there. I guess Melissa's mom was out with Claire's mom somewhere in the city. To Melissa and Claire it seemed normal that their mom's were not home.

We stayed up most of the night smoking and finishing off some vodka Claire put into a water bottle when we were over at Tom's. Everything felt so right and I knew that these where my friends. Maybe it was the booze or the illegalness, but either way I looked at it we were best friends. During the game of I wish we bonded and I've never bonded with girls the way I have bonded with them.

We talked the night way being stupid, falling down, and laughing at how each of us were so fucked up. It was like we were our own little family, the family of drugs and alcohol. I liked it; I enjoyed the togetherness we had. We bonded over our problems, and our way of getting rid of them.

As I sat down on the chair I noticed that I never wanted my life to change. I wanted to live like this forever, but something at the back of my mind knew that I couldn't. At that moment I heard a voice, one that I thought was gone.

'Bella, you made me a promise.' I looked around and noticed that he was not there. It sounded like he was right there, but he wasn't. Was I losing my mind? What's going on? I thought as his voice invaded my mind again. 'You know you are throwing your life away.' I looked around again, where the hell was that coming from? Claire and Melissa gave me a weird look as they saw my face go white.

"Bell, are you ok." Claire said with a puzzled look on her face.

"All good, just... Just thought I saw something move." I said hoping that the fact I was really drunk would be ok.

"You're already hallucinating? Shit." Melissa said. We laughed, I more to hide that I thought I might be going crazy. Although it was scary, I liked it. His voice made me remember him. I didn't know if that was good or bad. My escape wasn't as much of a escape as I wanted it to be. Before I knew it passed out on her living room floor.

I woke up at four in the morning and had to run to the bathroom, but as going in, I noticed that Claire was in the bathroom as well. She was hugging the toilet seat, "Claire, I got to too." She moved her head up and laid it against the bathroom floor. I quickly bent over and let everything from last night come up. It felt like a burning acid in my throat and mouth. It was disgusting.

"I can't believe that I got this drunk." Claire mumbled before leaning over the toilet again. I leaned my head against the floor liking the way the coldness helped my headache. It reminded me of 'his' hands. His hands were always so cold and so gentle. I shook my head; I had to make myself not think of him. He never loved me, it was all a lie, and I believed it. If he loved me he couldn't have left me the way he did.

I felt my eyes start to tear up, but I held them back. I can't cry here, not like this.

Hours seamed to drag on as we were stuck in this bathroom. I hated this feeling, so why did I get so messed up again? It was fun at the time, but now I was hoping my death would come so I wouldn't have to deal with this. My body felt drained of everything but pain. The pain in my head, and through out the rest of my body as well. At some point I passed out again, I woke up every so often to puke before going back to sleep.

Melissa Eventually knocked loudly on the bathroom door and woke Claire and I up. "What the Hell Mel!" Claire yelled looking up at the other girl.

She ignored Claire's yelling and came bouncing in with a bottle of beer. I groaned as I looked at it. "no, no more." I whinnied I couldn't take anymore.

Melissa rolled her eyes. "Come on, a drink will keep the hangover away." Melissa said getting me up, and making me help up Claire. "Come on, your such pusses."

She bounced away while all I could do was walk ever so slowly trailing behind. Claire cursed as she too did the same. I have no clue how she could be so happy this early, and didn't her body hurt like mine?

She got a shot of something and told me to take it. I gowned at the thought of more alcohol. Claire sat down at he table and then just fell off the chair onto the floor. Melissa shook her head while watching me to make sure I took the shot. I did, but it didn't seam to help just made me want to gag at the taste.

Melissa ran into her room and got out some aspirin, " Just take one since you drank, both of these should kill your hangover." I did as she said and waited for it to take effect. Melissa gave it to the passed out Claire. After a few hours I started to feel better.

We were sitting down in her living room talking about last night. We laughed at shit we didn't remember, and none of us remembered going to sleep.

Claire went though her bag and got out a joint, she smiled and said, "He wasn't looking so I rolled one and put it in my bag."

"Sweet, I love you" Melissa said before taking a hit and passing it to me. "Why exactly did your face go white last night?" she asked. I closed my eyes; I was hoping she wouldn't remember that.

"Ok, this is going to sound like I'm a mental patient or something. I heard my x-boy friends voice in my head." Claire looked over at Melissa, but they both gave me a weird look. "I warned you."

"That must have been some good shit last night." Claire said before taking another hit. I didn't say anything else on the subject, and they didn't ask.

Eventually we were stoned, and eating food while watching 'speed racer' the people were all jumping out of the screen. It was trippy as hell.

I looked over at my phone; it wasn't even 8 am yet. I then heard a voice, 'Why are you doing this?' I looked around still confused as to what was going on. I decided it was the beer talking, so I took another swig. 'What about that promise we made.' I closed my eyes, and I prayed it would stop. I stood up and went over to Claire's cigarettes and quickly lit one up. I almost started to cry as I heard his voice again. 'Stop this!' I heard his voice again. I didn't want his voice, but at the same time I did. What's wrong with me? With every puff I heard his voice more and more.

It got so loud that I had to run to the bathroom. I collapsed on the floor. Tears where building up behind my eyelids; eventually; the tears went down my face. I couldn't help it I missed him, and wanted him here. At the same time I didn't want him

Even with him gone, he still had an effect on me. I wiped my eyes, and made my self look like I didn't cry. Instead I flushed the toilet and told the girls I had the feeling of throwing up. They took it easily without a second thought.

Soon I decided that I needed to go hone and bathe and all of that. They nodded and told me the party tonight. I told them I would try to come, but I had no clue if my dad would let me out. I drove home while still being a little high, and ran into the house. Charlie wasn't there, so I didn't have to deal with any questions on why I smelt the way I did.

I jumped into the shower and washed up, as I got out I looked in the mirror and I couldn't stand the way I looked. I looked and felt so dirty. Now my escape from him brought him right back into my head. Why did life have to be so mean to me? No mater what I did it always brings me back down. I ended up punching the stupid mirror as the tears started to some down my face. I sat like that for at lest an hour; I was just crying and holding my bleeding hand.

I have no clue how much glass was in there, but I really didn't care. I wrapped it up, and then I went to get dressed. I was on a rebellious streak, and I was going to keep it. Fuck telling Charlie where I was going; I'm 18 ill do whatever I please. I got into my favorite pair of trip pants and a black tank top. I put on a bunch of eyeliner and got my truck keys.

I ran out to my truck and hurried to seven eleven, I needed a smoke now more then ever. After I bought a pack, I quickly opened it for some nicotine. Who knew that within a few days of smoking my body would be craving it. I got back in my truck and went to get Claire and Melissa. As they said we have another party to hit and more drugs to do. I didn't want to face this anymore. I needed to excape.

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AN: there is another chapter, hope you enjoyed! : )

Ashley


	3. Party!

This chapter is shorter, thanks for reading!

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Chapter three: Party!

I went back over to Claire's house and knocked on the door. The door opened; an older woman with short black hair answered the door. "Umm... hi is Claire and Melissa here?" I asked.

"Yes they are upstairs right now getting ready for sleeping over at your place. Would you like to come in?" she asked as she opened the door wider for me to step though.

"Thanks," I said as I entered the house. They never mentioned sleeping over at my place. At least Charlie would be working late tonight. "I haven't meet you before," I said looking at the lady, "I'm Bella." I said extending my hand.

She did the same, and shook my hand "I'm Claire's mom, Abigail."

I smiled at the older lady, "It's nice to meet you."

"You as well." She said, "Do you know where Claire's room is?"

"I think so." I said remembering us being here last night and the layout of the house.

"Well go on up. It's nice that they are already making friends here. I was worried with us moving in the middle of the year."

"They are great." I said with smile. "I'm happy to have made friends with them."

"I'm glad to hear it." She smiled before taking off into the kitchen. Walked up to the stairs and quickly went up them as I looked for Melissa and Claire. They were upstairs in the bathroom putting on make up.

"You two look like we're going to the club." I said with a small smile.

Melissa looked over at me before launching into my direction with a hug. I was caught off guard, but lightly hugged her back. She had a strange comforting feeling when she hugged me.

She pulled away, "No club, but just so you know we are sleeping over at your place and going out to eat."

I nodded, "Claire's mom told me about the sleeping over plans."

"Sorry about that, should have texted you about it." Claire said as she finished putting on eyeliner.

"Wow." Melissa grabbed my hand and looked at it. "What happened?"

I looked down at my hand; the bandage was bleeding through a bit, "Disagreement with a mirror." I said I looked at Melissa with a sheepish look on my face,

"You punched a mirror?" Melissa asked, "What did the mirror ever do to you?"

"I just didn't like what it was reflecting back to me." I said as I looked at the ground.

Melissa shook her head, "Did you get the glass out of your hand?" I shook my head no and she quickly sat me down on the toilet seat. "Unwrap it I'll be right back." She said before leaving the bathroom.

Claire turned to me as I took the bandage off. "She cares about you."

I looked up at her, "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said, she cares about you." She turned back to the mirror. "Just be careful she latches onto people quickly and has a hard time of letting them go."

I didn't know what to say but luckily Melissa got back with a big first aid kit. She looked at my hand and quickly got to work on my hand. "This could get infected if you don't get all the glass out."

I didn't say anything I just let her take tweezers and pull the glass out. I was reminded of my birthday party and how Carlisle did the same. My breath caught for a moment at the thought of all of the Cullens. I felt the sting of not being able to say bye to any of them. One day they were there and the next they were gone, just like him.

I looked down at Melissa as she worked on my hand and spoke to me, but I didn't really hear her. I felt disconnect from the moment, numb from my feelings but lost in my mind of thoughts.

Melissa took many pieces of glass out of my hand before wrapping it back up. She stood up and started to clean off the tweezers she used. They were covered with blood from having to get into my skin.

She looked through the mirror at me with a sad look on her face, "What?" I asked.

"There seems to be… I don't know so much sadness behind your eyes. You seem lost." She turned to look at me. "I just wish I could help you through whatever is hurting you so much."

I shook my head; "No one can help me through it." I answered. "I have to work it out myself."

"You don't have to do it alone." She said before turning back to the sink. I didn't know how to answer her. I've always done things myself. I left and moved here to solve my mother's problem of not being able to be with Phil all the time. I had to idea of leaving to save my mother from James, even though she wasn't in danger. Remembering that day still scares me to today. "Are you alright?"

I looked over and saw that Melissa stood in front of me bent down to my height. "I'm fine."

"You checked out."

"I tend to do that a lot." I said trying to pull myself out of my thoughts.

Claire turned around from the mirror. "Well let's get you ready." She said as she pulled out some make up. "You look like you haven't slept for days."

"I wonder why?" I said with a shake of my head, "I did spend the whole night throwing up next to you on the toilet."

"I have no recollection of that." Claire said in a teasing tone before coming over to put makeup on me. Melissa laughed and soon joined in putting eye shadow and eyeliner on my face.

Once Claire and Melissa deemed me ready, we went back down stairs and I briefly meet Melissa's mom Valerie. She had bright red hair and a half-shaven head on the right side and a nose ring on the side as well.

I didn't get to talk to her long before the other two girls dragged me out of the house. Claire gave e directions to another house, one I never been to before, but the second we got there I knew a big party was going on.

Cars were parked everywhere and I could smell alcohol and weed all around. As walking in, I noticed no other Mike Newton sitting with some girls on a couch. I couldn't help but laugh at him. He noticed me not to long after entering the party and came over to me while I grabbed a drink in the kitchen.

"Well what do we have here?" He asked as he stood next to me.

"Hi Mike." I said to him as I took a sip of my drink.

"I haven't seen you out since," he stopped for a moment noticing how I look changed, "well for a while."

"Yea, Claire and Melissa dragged me along."

"Oh the new Goth girls." He said looking over at the other side of me where they stood. "I didn't know they knew about the party."

"Tyler told me about it." Melissa said.

"Well I hope you are having fun."

"We just got here." I took another sip and turned to look at Melissa and Claire.

"Yea." He said before he went quiet.

"Well I'm going to go." I said as I started to walk away.

"Actually," Mike followed me a bit, "Can we go and talk somewhere?"

"Maybe later, I was going to um mingle?" I asked more then spoke.

"Yea she has to show us around and tell us who's who." Melissa said as she started to drag me away "Maybe I'm give her back to her when I'm done."

We walked away into another room before the three of us busted out laughing. "Who is that?" Claire asked when we calmed down.

"Mike Newton, he's had a crush on me for a while." I answered back, "He's tried many times to go out."

Melissa shook her head, "He's a tool. Come on let's dance!" she said as she grabbed my arm and took me out to the dance floor. I felt awkward. I don't dance, but Melissa didn't seem to care at all. "Come on." She put her hands on my hips and started to move them in a similar way she was. "See it's not that hard."

Melissa kept her hands on my hips even as I started to move my hips by myself. I glanced over and saw a strange look on Claire's face. She looked angry, but I couldn't figure out why. Did she like Melissa? Claire noticed I was watching her and changed her facial expression. She left and got more drinks for the rest of us. We drank and drank and danced.

I saw Lauren and Jessica standing by the wall with drinks as well. The look on their faces was filled with annoyance and anger. I didn't know why until I looked around and noticed that a lot of people were watching the three of us dancing.

I normally disliked any attention, but right now with a little but of a buzz I glowed in it. If anything it encouraged me to dance more and shake my hips in a sensual way. I closed my eyes and moved my body to the music.

I felt perfect. It was hard to describe my enjoyment. I felt happy. I don't know the last time I had a moment like this. I've been so lost, so depressed lately. I've sort of always been that way too.

I couldn't think of any time I was happy, other then when I was with Edward and since I've started partying.

Claire brought be another drink and I quickly took it down in a few seconds before dancing again. I must have looked like a mess the more I drank, but I didn't care.

It was... refreshing.

Life was so good when I felt like this; sometimes I wish I would never come down. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to stop either.

All good things come to an end at some point.

That night Charlie was working an overnight, not too shocking; he did it all the time. I brought Claire and Melissa up to my room. We took out blankets and pillows and laid them out on the floor. We put on a movie and at some point we passed out.

Sometime in the middle of the night I felt myself being shaken from my sleep. "Bell." I heard though my dream.

I snapped awake, and looked around. My heart was pounding loudly throughout my body. I looked up into Melissa's eyes, "what?"

"You were screaming." She said with a frown. "Who's James?"

I felt a lump in my throat. That name brought back a lot of memories. The fear of dying and how he caught me in a trap. That was the scariest 20 minutes of my life.

"No one." I said before laying back down.

"If you need to talk to someone-"

"I'm good." I said before curling up in ball and holding myself. I started to drift off into a sleep but right before I fell asleep I felt Melissa's arms surround me.

"I'm here if you need me." She whispered. "I don't know what you've been through, but… I like you." I couldn't respond and instead went back into my dream world.

* * *

An: okay here is the next chapter, I hinted to Bella having some long-term depression in her life (a nice idea from a reviewer) and some Ptsd from the whole James thing in the first book. I personally couldn't think to go through that experience and not have some problems afterwards. Both of which people who are suffering from depression and Ptsd have a higher chance of going to drugs and drinking to help them so it works with how quickly she is getting hooked.

Well tell me what you think!

Thanks,

Ashley


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